How I Kidnapped the Doctor
by Madfoot
Summary: Stupid little drabble that I wrote for a friend who wanted to hear a dumb story about Doctor Who. I really don't expect anyone to read it, and I actually wouldn't advise reading it, it's really stupid.


a/n: A friend of mine asked to hear a story about Doctor Who, so I wrote this stupid-arse thing about me kidnapping him.

Twas a lovely spring afternoon, around 3pm. I was peacefully sunbathing on the deck at my house whilst reading a glorious Harry Potter fanfic on my laptop. I know, glorious fanfic is totally an oxymoron, but it's my story, so shut up & listen!

Anyways, I was sunbathing and reading when I heard a sound that I definitely recognized from a particularly awesome television show that a certain Berry Mcgoo got me addicted to. It sounded like the TARDIS. I sat bolt upright in my lounge chair and listened attentively to see if I could tell where the sound was coming from. It was obviously coming from my basement, so I set my laptop on the patio table and began to make my way to the basement. I walked down the stairs from the deck (still clad in naught but a bikini, from the sunbathing, you know) and walked across the grass to the basement door, where I stopped to listen. I pressed my ear against the door and heard a voice. It was a guy, talking to himself, and he had a sexah Scottish accent. My heart did a little excited jump, because who travels in the TARDIS and has a sexah Scottish accent? David Tennant as the Doctor, duh!!!

I put my hand on the doorknob and gave it a turn, then pushed the door open. I gazed inside the basement, and who did I see standing there in all his sexah glory?? I think you can pretty much figure it out.

He obviously didn't realize there was anyone on the other side of the door, because he jumped when the door hit the wall after I'd pushed it open.

"Who're you?" he said.

"What're you doing in my basement?" I retorted.

"Touché," he answered. "Would it be alright if I leave my...Police Box here for a while?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I suppose so," I replied, "But you've got to do something for me in return."

He looked me up and down, then smiled. "Sure, anything," he said with a hungry look in his eye.

I smirked, thinking of the possibilities 'anything' could hold. "Well," I said, "First off, it's almost my birthday, and I would like some cake. But, I want to use [iyou[/i as a platter."

"Brilliant!" he said with a grin. "Get some cake then, and I'll wait here for you."

I grinned back at him, then turned and left the basement, closing the door behind me. I did a little happy dance and squeed a bit, because c'mon, wouldn't you squee and dance at the prospect of eating cake off of him, too? After my dance, I sprinted up the stairs and into the house and picked up the cake from the counter in the kitchen (because in this story, I'm weird and randomly keep entire cakes sitting on my counter). I then carried the cake back down the stairs to the basement.

I opened the door and gazed inside (again) to find him already naked and sitting on the sofa. I was like this: drool. I stepped inside the basement and shut the door behind me, then locked it so we wouldn't be interrupted. I set the cake on the table beside him, then told him to lay back, which he did. I then climbed on top of him and proceeded to snog him. Twas the best snog ever!!!

After several minutes of that (yes, several minutes. Twas a [ivery[/i good snog) I climbed off of him and knelt on the table beside him. I told him to flip over onto his stomach, which he did as I cut a piece of cake. He watched me over his shoulder as I used the knife to pick up the piece of cake I'd just cut and place it on his bum. I tossed the knife aside and began to eat the cake using only my mouth. Twas messy, but who cares?

Once the cake was gone, I had to lick all the icing off, because who wants a sexah guy with a sticky bum? Afterwards, more snogging ensued (because that's what one does after eating cake from someone's bum), then we shagged (because snogging often leads to shagging), then I told him he could never leave, and chained him to the wall in my basement, where I keep him so he can pleasure me whenever I like, and also, so I can use the TARDIS whenever I like. Also, I told him he has to take me everywhere and everywhen I want to go!

A/N: You don't have to review, I don't care on this one. I really don't expect anyone to read this at all. I just wanted to upload it so I can delete it from my computer ROFL!


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